Why we like the clothes that we like
Thoughts on the need to define our personal style.
I am leaving for a weeklong trip to New York later this week, and of the many things I’m looking forward to, I may be most excited about the Isabel Marant sample sale that’s happening literally around the block from where I’m staying. There are several layers to my enthusiasm: One, I miss shopping at sample sales and scoring amazing deals. Two, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m on a tight budget at the moment and haven’t been shopping with my usual somewhat reckless abandon, so I have that itch to scratch. But really, Isabel Marant is my favorite designer—her pieces make up a large part of my closet—so I am most excited to pick up some items that I know I’ll love, in spite of the fact that I absolutely don’t need them nor should I be spending money on them. (I will be sticking to my list, I promise!) But then I got to thinking, what is it about Isabel Marant’s clothing that I like so much? Why don’t I get as excited about brands that have a similar aesthetic, like Iro or Zadig & Voltaire? Am I just super brand-loyal, or is there something more to it?
Speaking broadly, we as a culture seem to be having a personal style moment, and by that I mean a lot of us seem preoccupied with defining our personal style. I think part of that is because we all felt a little bit lost after the pandemic, when both our dressing habits—I have a whole collection of sharply tailored blazers and statement heels from my former work life languishing in my closet—and our shopping habits changed, i.e. we all got a little too comfortable with online shopping and bought a lot of crap that we didn’t need and/or that didn’t suit us. The other part is that defining our personal style is another way we try to understand ourselves, kind of like taking a Myers-Briggs or an Enneagram test. Life is complicated and messy, but doesn’t it feel better to try and make sense of yourself?
Allison Bornstein’s book Wear it Well came along at the right time; in case you haven’t heard of it, it’s meant to help you figure out your personal style so that you can wear more of what you love and stop buying things you don’t wear. I read it and even as someone who has worked in the fashion industry for 20 years, I found her Three Word Method incredibly helpful—distilling my overall look into three simple words has helped me clean out my closet, made getting dressed easier, and prevented me from buying things that aren’t “me.” It made fashion joyful for me again. And in case you were wondering, my three words are Classic, French, and Rock-and-Roll. We’ll come back to those in a minute.
Of course, with any widespread movement there inevitably comes a backlash. There are calls to just live your life and wear whatever you want. Or, as Gen Z would say, don’t overthink it. It’s perfectly fine to be more blasé about your wardrobe, but if you love fashion, it’s kind of hard to. Granted, I spend a lot of time thinking about style, but it’s my job, and I’d like to point out that the fashion industry employs over 400 million people worldwide and is a two-TRILLION-dollar business. (Let’s table the argument that we over-consume in this department for now. I’m trying to make a point.) I absolutely HATE when people try to downplay the importance of fashion and self-expression; I truly do not care about sports in the least but you will never hear me say that spending hours every week cheering on a team or obsessing over statistics/trades/plays has no value or is a waste of time. Let’s just stop telling each other what to do and what to care about, okay?
Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent. Anyway, the exercises in Wear it Well made me realize that I was engaging in a bit of influencer cosplay with my wardrobe—like maybe if I wore the nonchalant baggy pants and boxy beige tops and the other markers of Quiet Luxury that everyone else was wearing, I’d be accepted as a real content creator. And even though I love my sharply tailored work blazers, they served a purpose: shielding me from the everyday battles of corporate America and hiding what an incompetent mess I felt like on the inside. Both of those examples were aspirational elements of my wardrobe and it’s perfectly fine to push yourself, but they weren’t me; they were projections.
Having three words to guide my wardrobe helps remind me of who I am and how I want to show up in the world, style-wise. I feel the most confident and joyful when what I’m wearing reflects who I am. The irony is that while my three words are Classic, French, and Rock-and-Roll, I am not really any of those things per se (although at 47, I guess I qualify as “classic” now!), but the way they come together—in my mind, a mix of well-fitting, tailored basics and edgy details like studs, ruffles, and fringe, put together in a chic, unexpected way—feels very me. And very Isabel Marant, which I think is why I gravitate toward the brand so much. I would hope that everyone would be lucky enough to find a brand (or several) that aligns so closely with their own sense of style, so I feel lucky that I found it. Wish me luck at the sample sale, and stay tuned for what I end up buying!
This week on the blog
It is just about Sandal Season, and I have a brand-new pair from Inez that I felt worthy of an honest review. Yes, they are high heels, but are they actually comfortable? Read on for deets and don’t forget to use code Cheryl15Spring25 for 15% off!
One more thing
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